and so it goes...

How unlikely would it be to get sick or not feel well and you are not aware it?  Or let me rephrase it to - how likely it is that you are under the weather yet you're not aware of it? Hmmm... possible. Sentinel have a lot of anecdotes in her pocket to share every time I come back in the Kingdom from my every other week world-alienating  work as NP. She said, she was dumbfounded knowing our other Mama Sia did not know she has renal failure.  Hmmm, that is too unlikely and unfortunate.  Before all of them (our patients) step foot in the Kingdom, I am pretty sure their PCP or Nephrologist explained to them their condition, that they needed dialysis.  It was unfortunate to hear that Mama Sia had the biggest surprise in her life -- her kidney is not working anymore! And so did Sentinel, she had the biggest surprise in her entire hemodialysis stint, stated " na-werla si aketch neng !  Tinusok na't lahat, tatangalin na lang ang catheter...

Finally!  Missy's calcium level is within normal range.  But my Dietician is in limbo with her algorithm --- either to discontinue or go on with her oral Calcitriol dosage knowing our Missy has a hungry bone syndrome. Hungry Bone Syndrome (HBS) is a prolonged hypocalcemia associated with hypophosphataemia and is exacerbated by suppressed parathyroid hormone levels, which follows parathyroidectomy in patients with severe primary hyperparathyroidism.  Also, in Missy's case, she already developed a bone disease preoperatively. Missy had two hip replacements, and she may be in her wheelchair but it doesn't stop her from taking the steering wheel and drive herself to treatments with her Dad. Bring it girl! I watch the Lifetime series Bring It and The Rap Game every Friday, which I discuss with Missy as she watches the series too.  I tried to watch whatever my patients are into, that is how I build my rapport with them.  My partner RN discusses...

It's good to be back in my Kingdom... after whacking my head and butt the past days.  What's more to seeing old faces???  They express their concern for you and chant their unending "I miss you"!!! Oh, really?  Well, at least the Black Widow didn’t cover for me, I was still intact and never sold per piece! I told them not to worry and wait for the rain... because when it rains, I multiply!  And there will be a lot of my kind and it will be swell living in this Kingdom! Hah!  I am vain!  And I am a gremlin. Remember that movie? The Gremlins is a comedy horror back in 1984.  Gizmo the very first mogwai/ guai shou (monster) was sold with a warning: 1. do not expose it to bright lights or sunlight, which will kill it; 2. do not let it get wet as it spawns other creatures, and 3. never feed it after midnight as it turns to a gremlin. I like it here in California, as I can freely move around without fear of spawning gremlins ...

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance... DABDA the stages of grief I have learned in psychology class which I had a hard time giving examples of each stages, when asked for... Well, I thought then, how could there be a staging of anything in the world???  Shouldn't we just face grief head-on, straightforward??? Why I have to go through bargaining or depression???  Growing up, I never knew the feeling of depression...well, especially when you're from a Filipino lineage, depression has no room in our house at all. But yes, DABDA exist. DABDA applies even to the patients I see on a regular basis.  Yesterday, I have to attend to a family wanting to discuss about their patient wanting to discontinue the treatment.  I ended the meeting entailing details on encouraging and prodding the patient to continue the treatment plus in the end, it is always a patient's right.  He was still in his anger phase. Last Saturday, Prime decided to ...

I hate Fridays, it's where most politicking happens. My supervising MD called, strangely, his opening was "hey Gen, I have a good news..." f... my heart raced and my head was in highway 101 thinking ---he's giving me a raise??? On a regular day, he would call me and right away bombard me with "why are you not returning my calls?!?... not even a mention of my name, yes, that's how blunt he can be. So with that call from Friday, I was thinking ahead of my head or anyone's head for that disconcerting "good news". Nah! No raise at all. Ms. I feel pretty got her new kidney!  Hmmm, that was some good news.  She was indeed on top of the list!  The MD knows how I would drag my already worn-out feet to see her and listen to her thoughtless concern for others. Wishful thinking no more!  Her positive thinking paid-off. Not for me, though... I was hit real hard to the bone, last week.  My positive thinking did not pave the wa...

Strumming my pain with his fingers... Singing my life with his words... killing me softly with his song... Aylmer the Queen bee is not hitting his high notes this time, he is complaining of a back pain... "it's a stabbing pain, Geena, I'm so frustrated...it's killing me". I read an email last Thursday... the one I've been waiting for ages... that sounded crucial to my being.  I read it once.  Thud! I felt a thud in my chest... it's like a hard kick in my heart.  It hurts. It was a very strange feeling.  I was quiet the whole duration of my flight.  I had a lazy long weekend and I know I was feeling off. Monday came.  I received a very important call that sounded crucial to my being.  I heard it once.  Thud! There's that weird thud in my heart again!  It hurts so bad.  It felt like someone just punched me real hard... NO, someone stabbed me!  It hurts.  I felt the pressure of the arm driving ...

I worked on the other side of the Kingdom last week with the Extraordinary People team.  It was good to be back to old and new faces. I admitted a new kid at heart who refused to be wheeled to his chair, so, it took us 3 minutes, I guessed, to reach a 10-strides seat. photo by: sajbrfem/flicker In front of him was the already settled Antonia, who saw me handing all the kit for our new admit, including a soft and comfy blanket.  Antonia reacted, called my attention and asked, why didn't I gave her a blanket. Oops... sorry Toni but you've been in the Kingdom for sometime now, it must have slipped your memory that you were given the same thing before. LOL. Anyhow, she continued to kid around calling me "racista".  I amused her, saying, hey how can I be racista when I am as Mexicana as you are, besides you are already beautiful--- so you don't get to have everything! Darn!  It sounded like that movie.... Antonia's Line , have you ever ...

Have you ever met a vain or conceited person in your lifetime --- aside from yourself? I did. It was sad that I have to endure and hurt my legs standing just listening to her...because I have to. What saddened me more was to hear her rant about the futility of the organ system, that she should be on top of their list because blah blah blah and she doesn't care about these (point with her lip) other people. I always thought of myself being pretty and vain, but I can still back-off if it's called for --- for others. Geez, I dread seeing her again. G.

I was about to work on June's CVC when she just bluntly asked me " what would you do under the water with your man?" Huh?!?!! Wait, what??? Did I hear it right? She caught me red handed with that damn question!  WTF my 84yo June is asking me such?  So, I threw her back the question, "what will you do?" She answered me back without a blink--- "making out!" Huh?!?!  My jaw fell to the floor, literally! Dumbstruck! I replied the second time she asked me.  I said " I do not know.  I don't have a man... or if he is ROM, I might drown him!  Kidding". I teased June if she has a man now while we continued chit-chatting but she declared --- Oh Geena! I don't have emotions anymore...  Aw, okay, same here June, I am lost in emotion--- head to toe ! OMG call me crazy but I loved Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam's Lost in Emotion . I spent most of my school days in the 80's.  It was the decade where my littl...