no more i love you's...

I fret the day I died.

There should have been good memories to create, laughter to share with my fellows, and never-ending chit-chats in the chair.

Now, I will have a lot of missed treatments. My phone will be ringing non-stop as Prime and Sentinel must be calling me back to back for not showing up today and the past couple of days.

My chest is aching. Something is wrong with me, I can feel it.

They are working on me now, I'm probably due for my treatment. Hmm, its getting crowded in here...why are they hustling with my heart?

Wait, I cannot breath, give me some space!

Stop pounding my chest!
My aching heart is bleeding.
Gulp, I'm drowning now.
It hurts.

I fret the day I died.

I have been here for several days now, and its cold out here. I wonder if Prime called me? Did she get tired of checking on me? Or she just stopped loving me?

No more I love you's... the language is leaving me.
No more I love you's... the language is leaving me in silence.
No more I love you's... changes

I fret the days I am not in the Kingdom.

Things happen unexpectedly to the most unsuspecting people. Ne-ne had to die. There must be a genie in my coke bottle...
G.

Comments

behind that closed door....

When you have a competent desk Executive Assistant you’re sure to end up with a glory day! Liz is efficient. Ask her to do anything and she will do it in an instant, well, of course sometimes she forgets especially when her laughing buddy is beside her! She works quietly. You won’t even notice her leave the building unless she says her goodbyes! Ahh like her FA! LOL! Sneaky. She is behind this closed door. This door used to be wide open years ago, and it just changed recently, for some stupid reason. Anyhow, open or closed door you can still hear her giggling or I can still disturb her with just a press of “transfer 10” in the phone in from my Station. She is the “MAN” (as Paul often says) when it comes to translating for my Hispanic patients. I always ridicule her for getting a more paying job as translator, @#$% some people who knew how to use the language line are just too lazy they would always call her to translate. Geez. I am one of them. As she passed by my Stat...

Sunday's child...

I may not have a fair face, but I am a Sunday child. Forty-something years ago, on a wee hours of a Sunday, my mother had a 10-pounder. I was born from an unfortunate situation of my parents who were in dire need to uproot themselves from the very place they called home since their childhood. Most of my siblings were born and grew up in the same hometown. So growing up in a very different environ caused havoc to some of my older siblings --- who are unable to see the tin line between leaving and living. On the other hand, I did not realize the difference between us and them (my older siblings) even they kept teasing me and the other two younger siblings "Moros". I remembered how I was schooled by my older siblings about the sun, the moon, the stars...and why the sky is way up high. I've learned how greed can cause you hunger and misery from the story of the monkey and the turtle . I even learned the eye-flipping story of the pin...

heads or tails...

What's the best part of a fish to chomp on? The head. Especially when its sinigang or tinola (cooked in soup base) or even grilled. Filipinos has a funny gusto of eating fish, we are used to cooking and serving a whole fish -- with all its head, tail, bones, and skin on! Which, I know most people in California would gape at a sight of it--- a whole fish! Gawk. Ande cooked dinner yesterday. She called me saying "saan ka na" (where are you now?) at 645pm, while I was cruising or actually sitting in the traffic of SR-55 and I-5N. She said she cooked dinner. Yes, that's how lucky I am! I have a rent-free place and a dinner to look forward to. As expected, the one in my soup bowl was a milkfish head... and so in Ande's bowl. I went back to the kitchen for seconds and found the same heads and some tails of the milkfish in the pot. Went back to the table, grabbed my eye glasses again as milkfish are really, really bony! ...

and so it goes...

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